Top Five Fictional Female Villains

Last week, there was a shocking reveal at the end of the penultimate episode of this year's run of Doctor Who. It turned out that - oh, it's been a whole week now, I can say it - the mad Marry Poppins-esque Missy who has been terrorising the Doctor is in fact... the Master!
So to coincide with the return of the Doctor's greatest adversary in a very different form, I thought it time to look at the most despicable women from the halls of fiction, an illustrious category that the Master now belongs to. In no particular order, I give you the most terrible, terrifying and iconic female villains.

Morgan Le Fay
Appeared in: The legends of King Arthur

I'm something of an enthusiast of the legend of King Arthur. I don't claim to be an out-and-out expert but I appreciate the tales as something like the founding fathers of British storytelling and always enjoy dipping into the wealth of interpretations of the stories (although I was never that fussed about the popular BBC series Merlin, oddly enough). The legends, of course, have brave heroes in King Arthur and Merlin but also have a great villain in Arthur's half-sister, Morgan Le Fey (sometimes called Morgana) who acts as the main antagonist in most modern versions. Lusting after the throne of Camelot, Morgana will stop at nothing to end Arthur's reign, including using her own son, Mordred, to kill his uncle (and sometimes father) in battle. She's been hounding King Arthur in various forms over roughly a thousand years - you don't get much more of a determined villain than that.

Irene Adler
Appeared in: 'A Scandal in Bohemia' by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and numerous film and TV adaptations and literary pastiches.

Technically, Conan Doyle's original character from the Sherlock Holmes canon was not a true villain - Holmes was against her in the case but her only crime is a dalliance with a European royal in her youth. In most adaptations, however, her character is extrapolated to become a proper criminal. Much like Catwoman is to Batman, she and Holmes tend to work on opposite sides of the law but nevertheless harbour an affection for each other, sometimes this is unspoken, sometimes it is a fully-fledged love affair. This version of the character has been explored recently in both Sherlock and the Robert Downey Jr films but in Elementary, the character was taken further. The presumed dead ex-love of Sherlock, Irene turned out to be a female Moriarty in disguise. Changing a male master criminal into a woman - I'm sorry, Moffat, I think someone beat you to the punch.

The Other Mother
Appeared in: Coraline by Neil Gaiman.

Neil Gaiman's Other Mother from his exquisitely creepy children's novel Coraline is less of a villain in the femme fatale mould of Morgana and Irene and more of a walking nightmare. A creature from a realm of her own devising, like a spider in its web, the Other Mother lures children into her lair to feast on their souls. To entice the children, rather than use a house made of sweets, she acts as a loving parent... just one with buttons for eyes. The Other Mother is an utterly terrifying creation, playing off the inherent childhood fear of adults you trust to look after you turning out to do the opposite. As well as the simply intrinsically scary image of people with buttons for eyes. something which resides firmly in the uncanny valley.

Miss Havisham
Appeared in: Great Expectations by Charles Dickens

As a creation of Dickens, the claim that Miss Havisham is a cast-iron villain is a less clear one than with others on this list. The woman has a sympathetic backstory and eventually repents her wickedness, but she is still the greatest thorn in Pip's side as he tries to woo the love of his life, the icy Estella. Having been jilted at the altar, the ageing bride-to-never-be forever wears her ragged wedding dress and plans to use her adopted daughter, Estella, to break the hearts of men everywhere like her's was broken. Miss Havisham is someone whose own debilitating heartbreak and thirst for revenge has blinded her to how her actions affect others. Firstly, not only does she torment Pip merely to wallow in his pain but, more importantly, she raised Estella to be nothing more than her foot soldier, to go and act out her wish to destroy all men for her. 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned', indeed.

Dolores Umbridge 
Appeared in: the Harry Potter novels by JK Rowling and its film series, played by Imelda Staunton

The most despicable character in the Harry Potter series. Yes, Voldemort killed Harry's parents. Yes, Bellatrix Lestrange killed Sirius Black but neither of them wore such an alarming shade of pink.
Outwardly twee, Professor Umbridge harbours a deep lust for power and a sadistic streak as great as the Dark Lord's own, shown in the gruesome punishments she dishes out in detention and her placement at the head of the Ministry of Magic's witch-hunt (sorry, muggle-hunt). From her prissy, condescending nature to her more despotic tendencies, Umbridge is unlikeable to the core. In fact, Umbridge is so repulsive you can hardly stand to look at her photograph. That's why I've put her last, so you don't have to look at her for too long. And that's the truth because, as Umbridge herself likes to brand people with, I must not tell lies...


'Death in Heaven', the Doctor Who finale, is on tonight at 8.00 pm on BBC One.

Review: Doctor Who - Dark Water

The future becomes unclear when events take a turn for the existential in 'Dark Water.' Things are going to get very murky, indeed...

'The darkest day. The blackest hour. Chin up, shoulders back. Let's see what we're made of.' 

Before this regenerated series of Doctor Who started, a lot was made of the fact that it would be 'darker.' Upon airing, it could be said this was met with a pinch of salt. Sure, the show had a more serious Doctor and the series had sported episodes about weighty topics such as the nature of fear and tricky moral dilemmas but was it actually any darker than Doctor Who before it? Well, after tonight, we can say they were right to give us that warning as 'Dark Water', the penultimate episode of Series 8, was as bleak as the show's ever got. 

As with the hints scattered throughout preceding episodes, this episode's premise revolved around the age-old question: what happens after death? The answer, it turns out, is not a happy one, to say the least...

A few years ago, Torchwood presented its own, suitably nasty, depiction of the afterlife which was a natural fit for an adult-orientated programme that enjoyed exploring areas that its parent show couldn't. When said parent show did exactly this here, however, it felt unsettling in more than just the obvious way - should the show, that is avidly watched by children everywhere, do something as properly dark as this? Or perhaps this is a distinctly adult fear, one which kids will miss, but will keep us old folks awake at night? Either way, 'Dark Water' is certainly paving new ground. 

In other matters, the episode is on surer ground. The Cybermen's return in this episode was no secret but their actual reveal in the episode is inspired, a macabre twist on the classic image of Cybermen escaping their tombs. Gone are the invincible athletes of 'Nightmare in Silver', these silver soldiers march with menace down the steps of famous London landmarks and even use their old catchphrase 'delete.' Amongst the boundary pushing elsewhere its nice to see something so punch-the-air 100% Doctor Who. 

But enough of these trifles. There was only one question on our lips going in to this episode; who is Missy? Well, we certainly got the answer to that. In the end, it's the reveal many of us were expecting. The clues were all there. A penchant for pseudonyms. A love for teaming up with other baddies.  A general need to cause trouble for the Doctor. My personal reaction was to cackle for the next ten minutes at the sheer bravura of the move. Here's hoping Michelle Gomez gives the role its due now that the cat is out of the bag (or the Time Lord is out of the Time War...).

It is, of course, impossible to judge the episode fully without seeing its concluding chapter (what is Missy planning next? will everyone get out alive?) but the first forty-five minutes of this show-stopping story contained heartbreak, horror and shocks aplenty. Just like the Cybermen hiding in Dark Water, we've seen the skeleton of this finale, now I can't wait for the rest. 

The Doctor and Clara land in water that is deep as well as dark when the Cybermen arrive...

Next Week: Old friends and old foes surround the Doctor and Clara as the series comes to a blistering end. Will there really be 'Death in Heaven'? 

Monthly Mini-Reviews: October - Halloween Special

We made it through the horrors of All Hallows' Eve, everyone (that is unless you are a ghost reading this, in which case I apologise for my insensitive comment but commend you on being a thoroughly modern ghoul and using the internet)! However, the terror isn't over yet. Today, we have horrifying tales of a monster and a man (but which is which?), a killer with some vacancies in his motel, a ghost story on a broken-down train and a whole other world underneath a world at war. Read on, if you dare, for the Monthly Mini-Reviews... Halloween Special!

 Frankenstein (2011 Stage Play)

Mary Shelley's immortal Frankenstein has been adapted so many times over the years that there's a whole myth around the story which is far removed from Shelley's original text. In this recent theatrical version, from the combined talents of Oscar-winning director Danny Boyle and therious thespians Benedict Cumberbatch and Jonny Lee Miller (also both Sherlocks), the story is taken back to the beginning, keeping the shape and power of Shelley's exploration of science and the ambition of men while also not afraid to embellish details to enhance the material. Namely, the duality between creation and creator is increased, which was showcased, famously, by having the two main actors swap roles every night. I have been lucky enough to see the play with both actors in the roles (it was reshown in cinemas this Halloween) and both are terrific in capturing the tragic creature and the aloof doctor and the whole thing really is an exquisite production. Much like Dr Frankenstein's experiment, Frankenstein refuses to stay dead and long may it live if it is still being interpreted in such novel ways after two hundred years.

Psycho II

Since seeing Hitchcock's seminal thriller/horror Psycho for the first time last year, I've become quite a fan (but not in a creepy copycat kind of way) of Norman Bates, having also enjoyed the television series based on the character's early years. I settled into Psycho II, then, expecting a schlocky slasher but perhaps one with a enough of a hint at the original to sustain interest. In the result, Psycho II is a decent, if superfluous, sequel to the original. This is in large part down to Anthony Perkins who once again nails the nervy charisma of Norman as his character returns to Bates Motel twenty years later and fights to prevent his 'mother' from controlling him again. While it obviously ups the gore of the original, it is mostly psychological horror on show here as we get inside the mind of a killer. It's the sort of horror film that makes you want to have a shower after watching it. Just make sure you lock the bathroom door first...

Tales of Terror from the Tunnel's Mouth

Gothic horror is not something touched on enough in Young Adult fiction, but thanks to modern master of the macabre Chris Priestley the great tradition of Poe and MR James is being kept alive in his Tales of Terror, an anthology of spooky stories linked together by a encompassing narrative. The first two in the series - Uncle Montague's... and ... From the Black Ship - I loved and this final instalment is as much of a treat at this time of year. The tales are of a consistent quality but particular highlights include the peculiar puppets of 'Gerald' and murderous murmurs of 'The Voice.' Priestley clearly is a lover of the genre which comes through in his gleeful splashes of horror and habit for giving his characters a hard time (to say the least). The whole thing is saturated in Victoriana, evoking the masters of the craft, and an old broken down steam train makes for an eerie backdrop. Be warned: not one to read while commuting.

Pan's Labyrinth 

I haven't been much of a fan of other works by Guillermo Del Toro I've seen. Though his inimitable style is obviously visually interesting his films, to me, seemed to lack a depth or heart. This is the exact opposite of the case with his Spanish language dark fantasy film, Pan's Labyrinth, which marries gorgeous visuals with an in turns disturbing and uplifting story of fairy tales and war.
The contrast of Ofelia's magical underworld, represented by the avuncular Faun (played by prolific monster man, Doug Jones, star of Hellboy, Hocus Pocus and Buffy the Vampire Slayer) with the brutality of the Spanish Civil War, characterised by the sadistic Captain Vidal (a far scarier horror villain than Dracula or the Wolfman) could be jarring but they come together to tell a tale about how there is light in even the darkest of scenarios. It is all topped off with a terrific performance from the young Ivana Baquero as the bookish but brave Ofelia, the Alice in this twisted take on the works of Lewis Carroll, Arthur Machen and others.

Pick of the Month: It's a tough choice but as I've seen the terrific Frankenstein before, the one I was most blown away by this month, of this quartet of stories to make your quiver, was Pan's Labyrinth. Well done, Pan's Labyrinth. I owe you a coke.

Review: Doctor Who - In the Forest of the Night

Once upon a time a forest grew across the world overnight.. But does this story have a happy ending?

'This is my world too. I walk your earth. I breathe your air.' 

Doctor Who has fashioned a new tradition for itself under Steven Moffat's reign; that of the 'celebrity guest writer.' Though perhaps not as much a household name as other such writers as Neil Gaiman and Richard Curtis, this week's episode was penned by Frank Cottrell-Boyce, the Carnegie Award-winning novelist and writer of the famous opening ceremony of the 2012 Olympics. Clearly, this guy has big writing chops (never understood that phrase. Doesn't chops mean mouth? And if so, why does the size of your mouth denote how talented you are at your chosen field?). So did he pull it off with his déb-Who?  

'In the Forest of the Night' opens with a wonderful pre-titles sequence featuring the Doctor befriending the sweet yet troubled Maebh (Abigail Earnes being by far the best of this week's younger guest stars). It's a charming scene that really feels like a new writer putting a fresh stamp on the show (the explanation of the TARDIS as like sugar in coke is inspired) and its topped off with the reveal of London landmarks surrounded by trees, a truly enchanting image that sets up the whimsical tone of the episode.

Unfortunately, this assuredness does not hold out for the whole forty five minutes. The symbolism of forests in our collective consciousness, how they are always places of danger in folk tales and myths, is very strong. Hidden amongst other plot points there was even a reason why woods are humanity's primal fear. It is a shame then that this fascinating notion was passed aside for none-too-subtle ecological messages ('if they're good then why are we chopping them down?' one child even says) which feel somewhat recycled from the other year's 'The Doctor, The Widow and the Wardrobe' (which also featured living trees with tinkly lights, now I think about it).

Still, Samuel Anderson is served a considerable role this week as Danny gets to be in his comfort zone, leading his young troops through danger, and Peter Capaldi and Jenna Coleman are as good as ever with particular praise going to the Doctor's touching nod back to 'Kill the Moon.' Also, not enough mention has been made this year to Murray Gold, who has delivered endless memorable music for the show for almost ten years now. In this episode he seemed to have a ball, playing off the fairy tale qualities of the story in his score (there was a fabulous, rousing piece of music accompanying the shot of Nelson's Column surrounded by the forest). It's amazing that man's talent hasn't run dry after all this time.

Full of literary allusions, this ecological fairy tale of an episode was certainly an original treat. It had its flaws - a promising premise that never quite lived up to its potential (with an unfortunately risible final scene that was predictable from the off) - but Cottrell-Boyce bravely fashions a sort of all-ages modern fantasy out of the stuff of Doctor Who and experimentation must be encouraged. Otherwise nothing would ever grow.

'You need an appointment to see the Doctor' - The TARDIS turns classroom this week...

Next week: Old friends and foes alike return for the first part of this year's finale. Terrible sacrifices must be made when things get murky in 'Dark Water.' BBC One, next Saturday.

Review: Doctor Who - Flatline

The TARDIS really was bigger on the inside this week but did the episode itself exceed its dimensions or did it just 'Flatline'?

'I'm the Doctor. But you can call me Clara.' 

Some Doctor Who titles say it all. No one sat down to watch last week's 'Mummy on the Orient Express' saying 'I wonder what this will be about?' This week's episode, however, sported much more nondescript nomenclature. With so little able to be gathered about the episode, it could have gone anywhere. In the end, it was one of the strongest episodes of this series, featuring a fantastic new enemy and a great use of its leading characters. 

This series is already full of fabulous monsters - The Teller, the Foretold, Skovox Blitzer (only joking) - but this week's lot (no idea what to call them - living graffiti? The muralons?) might just be the best so far. This show's already made us take notice of statues, or flickers in the corner of the eye but now we also have to watch our backs when we pass a piece of street art. Two-dimensional aliens could have felt like a hodge-podge of other monsters - a bit of Vashta Nerada, a sprinkle of Chloe Webber and her penchant for literally capturing people on paper - but it never does and the aliens come out as true original creations. Kudos to Jamie Mathieson, who has proved himself these last two weeks to be a talented Doctor Who writer. A veteran of other quirky genre shows Being Human and Dirk Gently, he clearly understands how to spin a proper Doctor Who yarn. In my books, he is welcome back any time. 

It is indicative of the extent of Clara's growth this year that an episode led by the character last series might have been a worrying concept - would she be strong enough to carry it? - but here it feels perfectly natural, and, just as the Doctor says, she made a 'mighty fine Doctor.' Speaking of the Time Lord, compared to other so-called 'Doctor-lite' episodes, he really was in it a fair amount. In reality, the episode was more of a role reversal for the two - even down to the fact that the Doctor gets to chastise Clara for her lack of 'goodness.' Is this the start of a slippery slope for Clara? Will she be able to climb back up? With the finale only weeks away, we may find out soon enough...

This has been one of those reviews that has turned into a string of praise but there were simply so many moments to relish this week. The Doctor acting like Thing from The Addams Family when pulling the tiny TARDIS away from the train tracks. The rather Looney Tunes method of fooling the aliens (remember Wile E Coyote drawing a fake door in a mountain to trick Road Runner?). Even the 'phoning home' segments of this episode had much more of a purpose than last week, embellishing the idea of Clara's 'cheating' on Danny. The bottom line is, though it was at first as hazy as the nature of this week's ambiguous aliens, 'Flatline' turned out to be anything but flat.

You know when people say paintings follow you around the room? Apparently it's the same with graffiti...

Next Week: 'Tyger, Tyger burning bright/ In the forests of the night...' William Blake's famous poem comes true when trees sprout up overnight in next Saturday's episode of Doctor Who. 

Review: Doctor Who - Mummy on the Orient Express

Mummy! The Doctor's holiday turns into a horror when something goes a-murdering on the Orient Express...

'I'm the Doctor and I will be your victim this evening. Are you my mummy?'

Doctor Who has cultivated a new type of story for itself in recent years. Rather than just historical stories, contemporary adventures and proper sci-fi dramas set in the future, there is now the historical-in-space. In the past we've had the Titanic ... in space! Dickensian London... in space! This week, the show gave us, you've guessed it, the Orient Express ... in space! And, something else you already guessed, on board is a rather ancient and unwanted passenger...

As this was an episode premise I was very much looking forward to I'm glad to say it was a very enjoyable adventure. We have a gaggle of guest characters with their own secrets but other than that, 'Mummy on the Orient Express' wisely does not lay on the Agatha Christie allusions (something already done brilliantly in 'The Unicorn and the Wasp') and largely plays its absurd plot straight, meaning that we just accept the bonkers juxtaposition of a classic horror creature and the period glitz and glamour. In fact, a word (or a few words. Oh, what the heck, a whole sentence) must be given to the set and costume designs here as the famous train looked wonderful in its 1920s décor and the Mummy, along with its chilling conceit, really was quite a visceral creation for Doctor Who. It is sure to give children tears before bedtime (that is if they're even still awake - for British viewers, the show is being shown increasingly late in the evening, something I'm not too sure of). 

Due to the lack of the Doctor's companion in promotional material, I assumed the Orient Express was going to be a Clara-lite ride but in the end Jenna Coleman (looking glorious in full flapper garb) had an important decision to make this episode and it was lovely to see the Doctor's kinder side leaking out again as he tries not to annoy his friend. Frank Skinner is also likeable as engineer Perkins but with the amount of screen time he shares with the Doctor the role does smack a little of  'celebrity guest star of the week.' So much was made of him, in fact, that I was a convinced that he would either turn out to be the culprit or an agent of Missy. Well, it still could happen.

Overall, featuring an entertaining script from newcomer Jamie Mathieson and great visuals (the clock counting down in the corner of the screen is a nifty, almost Sherlockian, device), the episode's lighter touch is a welcome change from 'Kill the Moon' although particular moments of happiness here do somewhat undercut the drama of that episode. Still, it seems a trifle unfair to complain about such things as, on an insular level (there was no appearance of the Promised Land this week), this episode invited us on board and took us on surely the most solid, classic and classy adventure this series. If you have a counter-argument, I'd like to hear it. You've got 66 seconds...

Is there a Doctor on board? - The Time Lord has to solve the mystery of the mummy murders...

Next week: Separated from the Doctor, Clara must face an alien menace from another dimension in 'Flatline' on BBC One at 8.30pm.

Review: Doctor Who - Kill the Moon

Stepping on the Moon might be one small step for a man, but it's also one massive decision for all of mankind in 'Kill the Moon'...

 'It's time to take the stabilisers off your bike.'

Over its long history, Doctor Who has posited quite a few difficult moral decisions - should humanity share the world with the Silurians? Should the Doctor save Pompeii? Is it right to destroy Gallifrey for the sake of the Universe? Well, the latest episode of Series Eight offered us a new, more avant-garde, one. Would you kill the Moon?

Without saying too much (I know, if you're reading this you've probably already seen the episode, but you just might be here to get some sort of spoiler fix, and I don't want to indulge that - see a Doctor), this episodes sports a terrific premise and one that's pure Doctor Who; an ingenious twist on a familiar (if outer space) object. Much like 'Listen' elsewhere this series, the episode also earns marks for audacity for switching styles half-way through, beginning as a sci-fi horror story (with that wonderfully eerie image of cobwebs on the Moon) and then developing into a moral debate which shakes the solidarity of our heroes' friendship...

On the other hand, 'Kill the Moon' isn't perfect. First-time writer Peter Harness is, in my opinion, still learning the Who ropes and much of this episode lacks the witty repartee that distinguishes most stories. Furthermore, there was some dissonance between the matter of the episode and how it had been promoted - the shocking action that the Doctor was said to make here was not quite so Earth-shattering (or rather Moon-shattering) as it had been made out to be. This could be seen as a plus, though, as rather than breaking the character in the end it just pushed the Doctor towards measures he doesn't usually take but kept the morals of our hero intact. 

It hardly needs saying any more, but Peter Capaldi and Jenna Coleman once again did their best with the dramatic possibilities of what they were given. Clara's tearing the Doctor apart is particularly impressive, even though I generally find it more enjoyable to watch a Doctor and a companion getting on rather than arguing (yes, I'm looking at you, Sixth Doctor and Peri). Likewise, Ellis George did a commendable job this week as guest traveller Courtney. The school girl was not a crucial element to the episode but at least was not as superfluous as the Matiland children from 'Nightmare in Silver.' Still, after last week's sparks between the Doctor and Danny I'd have much rather seen Mr Pink join the TARDIS crew in place of his student. As a soldier, he might have been on the 'Kill the Moon' side of the argument - which would have given it a more interesting voice than Hermione Norris' sadly undeveloped character, Lundvik

For all my grumblings, however, 'Kill the Moon' was a worthy addition to the series, moving this run of episodes up a gear as it heads into murkier territories. It might not have been out of this world, but, with a thoughtful subject matter, an unpredictable Doctor and a lack of easy answers, it certainly had gravity.

Dark Side of the Moon - a difficult decision has to be made... but what will the Doctor do?

Next week: The Doctor has a ticket to board the Orient Express... in space! With a Mummy! I bet you'll never guess the title...

'Mummy on the Orient Express' is next Saturday at 8.30pm on BBC One.