British Heroes: Civil War

Many years ago, when superhero franchises were young, I assembled a team of British heroes as a counterpart to Marvel's The Avengers. Now that those guys are back and fighting amongst themselves in Captain America: Civil War, I thought it would be fun to update this idea and ask: 'which British team of heroes could win in a fight?'

Ladies and gentlemen, meet Team Doctor and Team Sherlock!

Ranking the Harry Potter Books and Films

 

Today marks the eighteenth birthday of the popular Harry Potter series (oh, I win the award for the Biggest Understatement of the Day, do I? How nice). The book that first took us on a journey aboard the Hogwarts Express, The Philosopher's - never Sorcerer's - Stone, was released on 26 June 1997.

To mark this occasion, I've decided to give my ranking of both the books and the films of which I have differing opinions. Unlike the film series, which I think wildly varies in quality, ranking the books is a hugely subjective task - when reading them as a youngster I was convinced the books got better and better. But let's see what I think now...



Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

Book: 5/7

An enchanting beginning chapter of the series. Its whimsical tone - much more so than other books in the series - means it can sit comfortably alongside such children's classics as Alice in Wonderland.

Film: 6/8

A very faithful rendition of the novel, with great casting choices, including the closer-to-the-text Richard Harris version of Dumbledore and the instantly loveable Hagrid as played by Robbie Coltrane.


Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Book: 4/7 

Being the first Potter book I ever read probably helps this one jump a few places. That said, I love the device of the haunted diary and it's thanks to this book's magic that I am writing about Harry Potter today.


Film: 5/8

Chamber is very much more of the same as the first film - which makes it all the more likeable in retrospect, after the changes the series would take later on. It's close but this one just pips Philosopher to the broomstick.


Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Book: 3/7

Most Potter fans I know choose this as their favourite - and it's not hard to see why. The Marauders' backstory and the time travel element in particular proving to be the highlights.

Film: 4/8

The most visually striking of all the films, though the stark change from the previous two is jarring. The newly-stylised look - plus the inclusion of werewolves, serial killers and dementors - make it less of a family film and more of a horror fantasy.


Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Book: 7/7

To me, the story - the Triwizard Tournament is held at Hogwarts - feels more tangential to the overall arc of the books than any other, even though of course it results in Lord Voldemort's return.

Film: 7/8

The first film that really struggles to adapt the - admittedly brick-sized - book to the screen and one which makes some annoying deviations. Gambon's Dumbledore in particular is angry and frustrated a lot of the time, a far cry from the always collected headmaster of the novels.


Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix 

Book: 6/7

The length may be indulgent but it is never a slog to read and effectively raises the stakes for the later books. It also introduces fan-favourite characters like Luna Lovegood and the series most despicable villain. No, not Voldemort...

Film: 8/8

The... interesting decision to turn the longest book into the shortest film of the series leaves the story feeling truncated. That said, Imelda Staunton as Umbridge  - yep, she's the one I was talking about - is one of the best casting calls of the series and is the saving grace of the film.


Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Book: 2/7

A grim and foreboding novel, but one with humour and romance in it too. Highlights include Voldemort's fascinating backstory and the heart-wrenching ending. Dark times are a-coming...

Film: 3/8

An unpopular opinion, but this is one of my favourites of the series. The plot doesn't translate too well (with much of the book's content removed) but the tragi-comic tone and the performances of the three leads - plus Gambon's finest hour - make it one of the stylistically best adaptations of the books.


Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows  

Book: 1/7

In this case, younger me's assertion that the books got better and better was right. A hugely shocking, entertaining and satisfying finale to the septology that does all you could have wanted it to do. 

Film(s): Part 1 - 2/8 Part 2 - 1/8

Again, I think I am unusual in liking the slower-paced road trip movie-esque first part almost as much as its energetic sequel. Finally, the films know just how to balance slavishly adapting the novel and intelligently inserting their own material. A brilliant duo to bow out on.

Top Five Fictional Female Villains

Last week, there was a shocking reveal at the end of the penultimate episode of this year's run of Doctor Who. It turned out that - oh, it's been a whole week now, I can say it - the mad Marry Poppins-esque Missy who has been terrorising the Doctor is in fact... the Master!
So to coincide with the return of the Doctor's greatest adversary in a very different form, I thought it time to look at the most despicable women from the halls of fiction, an illustrious category that the Master now belongs to. In no particular order, I give you the most terrible, terrifying and iconic female villains.

Morgan Le Fay
Appeared in: The legends of King Arthur

I'm something of an enthusiast of the legend of King Arthur. I don't claim to be an out-and-out expert but I appreciate the tales as something like the founding fathers of British storytelling and always enjoy dipping into the wealth of interpretations of the stories (although I was never that fussed about the popular BBC series Merlin, oddly enough). The legends, of course, have brave heroes in King Arthur and Merlin but also have a great villain in Arthur's half-sister, Morgan Le Fey (sometimes called Morgana) who acts as the main antagonist in most modern versions. Lusting after the throne of Camelot, Morgana will stop at nothing to end Arthur's reign, including using her own son, Mordred, to kill his uncle (and sometimes father) in battle. She's been hounding King Arthur in various forms over roughly a thousand years - you don't get much more of a determined villain than that.

Irene Adler
Appeared in: 'A Scandal in Bohemia' by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and numerous film and TV adaptations and literary pastiches.

Technically, Conan Doyle's original character from the Sherlock Holmes canon was not a true villain - Holmes was against her in the case but her only crime is a dalliance with a European royal in her youth. In most adaptations, however, her character is extrapolated to become a proper criminal. Much like Catwoman is to Batman, she and Holmes tend to work on opposite sides of the law but nevertheless harbour an affection for each other, sometimes this is unspoken, sometimes it is a fully-fledged love affair. This version of the character has been explored recently in both Sherlock and the Robert Downey Jr films but in Elementary, the character was taken further. The presumed dead ex-love of Sherlock, Irene turned out to be a female Moriarty in disguise. Changing a male master criminal into a woman - I'm sorry, Moffat, I think someone beat you to the punch.

The Other Mother
Appeared in: Coraline by Neil Gaiman.

Neil Gaiman's Other Mother from his exquisitely creepy children's novel Coraline is less of a villain in the femme fatale mould of Morgana and Irene and more of a walking nightmare. A creature from a realm of her own devising, like a spider in its web, the Other Mother lures children into her lair to feast on their souls. To entice the children, rather than use a house made of sweets, she acts as a loving parent... just one with buttons for eyes. The Other Mother is an utterly terrifying creation, playing off the inherent childhood fear of adults you trust to look after you turning out to do the opposite. As well as the simply intrinsically scary image of people with buttons for eyes. something which resides firmly in the uncanny valley.

Miss Havisham
Appeared in: Great Expectations by Charles Dickens

As a creation of Dickens, the claim that Miss Havisham is a cast-iron villain is a less clear one than with others on this list. The woman has a sympathetic backstory and eventually repents her wickedness, but she is still the greatest thorn in Pip's side as he tries to woo the love of his life, the icy Estella. Having been jilted at the altar, the ageing bride-to-never-be forever wears her ragged wedding dress and plans to use her adopted daughter, Estella, to break the hearts of men everywhere like her's was broken. Miss Havisham is someone whose own debilitating heartbreak and thirst for revenge has blinded her to how her actions affect others. Firstly, not only does she torment Pip merely to wallow in his pain but, more importantly, she raised Estella to be nothing more than her foot soldier, to go and act out her wish to destroy all men for her. 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned', indeed.

Dolores Umbridge 
Appeared in: the Harry Potter novels by JK Rowling and its film series, played by Imelda Staunton

The most despicable character in the Harry Potter series. Yes, Voldemort killed Harry's parents. Yes, Bellatrix Lestrange killed Sirius Black but neither of them wore such an alarming shade of pink.
Outwardly twee, Professor Umbridge harbours a deep lust for power and a sadistic streak as great as the Dark Lord's own, shown in the gruesome punishments she dishes out in detention and her placement at the head of the Ministry of Magic's witch-hunt (sorry, muggle-hunt). From her prissy, condescending nature to her more despotic tendencies, Umbridge is unlikeable to the core. In fact, Umbridge is so repulsive you can hardly stand to look at her photograph. That's why I've put her last, so you don't have to look at her for too long. And that's the truth because, as Umbridge herself likes to brand people with, I must not tell lies...


'Death in Heaven', the Doctor Who finale, is on tonight at 8.00 pm on BBC One.

Top Five Fictional Sidekicks

To tie in to my upcoming mini-blogathon concerning favourite fictional characters, I thought I would follow on from my previous post, Top Five Fictional Characters With No Name, with a list of the best sidekicks from fiction. A hero is nothing without a loyal trusty sidekick who will never leave their side - as I, a humble blogger, am nothing without readers. So do read on and discover a few of the most loyal and trustiest sidekicks of them all.


Baldrick
Appeared in: the Blackadder series, played by Tony Robinson

It's a staple of comedy that the main character will have a bumbling idiotic sidekick and the fiendish Edmund Blackadder's servant through the ages, Baldrick, is the epitome of the stereotype. As with the best double acts, Baldrick is a perfect foil for his wily master; with a brain not big enough to be spread over a small water biscuit, he often tries to aid Blackadder in his schemes with a 'cunning plan' that always fails to live up to the promise. On a side note, if you're not familiar with the Blackadder series it's the Shakespeare of television comedy and is a clever as a fox that's been made professor of clever at Oxford University.


Ron and Hermione
Appeared in: the Harry Potter books by JK Rowling and film series, played by Rupert Grint and Emma Watson

We're all familiar with these two. That boy wizard in the glasses would surely have never made it through all the magical mayhem if it were not for his infallible friends. Both are likeable characters; while Hermione is the intelligent one, Ron is generally seen as the comedy sidekick thanks to the character's presentation in the films (though Rupert Grint does a great job, particularly in The Deathly Hallows: Part One) but he is more fleshed-out in the books. As with everything in Rowling's stories, Ron and Hermione come from familiar moulds but the moulds work well, hence why they are moulds in the first place. Moulds.

Nick Carraway
Appeared in: The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

When thinking of classic sidekicks one's mind doesn't necessarily jump to the narrator of F Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby. However, I'm fond of Carraway (not neccesarily Tobey Macguire's film version, although I didn't dislike him as others did) and find his friendship with Gatsby rather Holmesian/Watsonian. Like many other classic sidekicks, we see the hero of the story through Nick's eyes; while Gatsby is the star of the novel, Carraway, his closest friend, is an equally well-fleshed out character who contrasts and compliments the protagonist. Definitely a sidekick. A great sidekick.

Sarah Jane Smith

Appeared in: Doctor Who, the Sarah Jane Adventures and K-9 and Company, played by Elisabeth Sladen

In its illustrious fifty-year history, Doctor Who has featured many beloved sidekicks, or companions as we fans call them, for everyone's favourite eccentrically-dressed, Sonic Screwdriver-using alien. But of them all, Elisabeth Sladen's Sarah Jane Smith is the most treasured; a character that every companion created since is measured up to. An intelligent, adventurous journalist, Sarah was the star of her own popular spin-off show (that was only cancelled upon the event of Sladen's untimely passing) and, like the Brigadier, has worked with multiple Doctors. Sarah Jane is simply the Doctor's greatest friend.


Dr Watson
Appeared in: the Sherlock Holmes stories by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and numerous film and TV adaptations and literary pastiches

In a list of the greatest fictional sidekicks, who else could take the top spot over Baker Street's finest doctor, chronicler and moustache-spotter, Sherlock Holmes' right-hand man, Dr John (sometimes James, but let's not get into that now) Watson? He is everything the hero's best friend should be; an everyman to contrast with the hero's extraordinary nature but also with a streak of brilliance to be of aid to the hero. Together with Holmes he is known for being one half of the greatest friendship in literature but even by himself Dr Watson is one of the most popular and enduring characters fiction has ever produced.